Top Ten Reasons Why SANTA is a SOCIALIST
by Daniel Guyton
1) He wears red
2) He "shares the wealth" with all people equally. (Except Jews)
3) He undermines Christianity on a regular basis
4) He voted for Obama (in absentia, of course)
5) He lives in a town not unlike Siberia
6) He views coal as a punishment, not as a legitimate fuel source
7) Like Obama, he often asks for change - although it's usually outside of Walmart with a bucket and a bell
8) Though he symbolizes consumerism and capitalism to an nth degree, he himself makes no profits from his services. In fact, it appears his only source of income is from an occasional mall sighting (in which he often seems disgruntled) as well as royalties from that song he wrote about running over someone's grandma (sick bastard).
9) He claims to love all people, yet he lives miles away from society, surrounding himself only with common laborers
10) His favorite movie is "Home Alone"*
(*number 10 has no bearing on this topic. It's just something I read somewhere)
Oh, and:
11) he believes in giving handouts to the poor and needy
by Daniel Guyton
1) He wears red
2) He "shares the wealth" with all people equally. (Except Jews)
3) He undermines Christianity on a regular basis
4) He voted for Obama (in absentia, of course)
5) He lives in a town not unlike Siberia
6) He views coal as a punishment, not as a legitimate fuel source
7) Like Obama, he often asks for change - although it's usually outside of Walmart with a bucket and a bell
8) Though he symbolizes consumerism and capitalism to an nth degree, he himself makes no profits from his services. In fact, it appears his only source of income is from an occasional mall sighting (in which he often seems disgruntled) as well as royalties from that song he wrote about running over someone's grandma (sick bastard).
9) He claims to love all people, yet he lives miles away from society, surrounding himself only with common laborers
10) His favorite movie is "Home Alone"*
(*number 10 has no bearing on this topic. It's just something I read somewhere)
Oh, and:
11) he believes in giving handouts to the poor and needy
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